The game today? Cops and robbers. (Stopgap)

I feel like I should write something tonight, but I don't know what. Which means another stopgap.

Stopgap is an awesome fucking word, though. So I don't mind using it for my grab bag kind of subject line.

I'd do something on how to resist the charms of women, but it's not really something I can explain. I mean, I will confess that there's one that really drives me wild, but there's not really anyone else. I don't have much to resist, you know? This also goes hand in hand with my discovery that I think about wrestling more than I do sex. However, if you look at it like "I think more about my future than I do sex," then no, it's not nearly as bad. But, shit, I see no reason to be ashamed of this. Wrestling's my real love in life, and it's an all encompassing thing for me. The fact that, sometimes, it looks rather homosexual (and in extreme cases, IS homosexual) doesn't even enter in for me. My mother continues to insist I need balance in my life. I think that's bullshit. I don't read because I don't really enjoy reading on any level. I play bass, yeah, but I've got no intentions on doing it seriously, or for money. I play it because I like playing bass.

I know a lot of people that use blogs as columns. I wish I could do that. But I'd keep running out of things to talk about. It's how I end up here, at midnight, droning on and on about nothing.

I'm self centered. I've also come to the conclusion that it's not such a bad thing. So few people in my life are worth the constant giving they want me to give. I mean, I get that because I live in my mom's house, I'm entitled to do the work. But other than that, there's nothing really binding. Blood is not the bond it used to be.

I had one of those days recently where I had stuff I wanted to say, but it would have been a waste of time to say it. Nothing deep or life changing, just...well, trivia, in a sense. What does it really matter that Jack Black has learned how to wrestle for a movie? Who cares? Well, aside from me, because I do appreciate that kind of dedication. But I'm not everyone. And it would suck if I was everyone.

I start a lot of paragraphs with "I." That's not even kind of subtle towards the selfcenteredness.

I'll also quickly note that there's a difference between self-centered and selfish. I am self centered, yes. I am, however, not a selfish man. I don't take more than I need, and I do frequently give. It's just that I dont feel compelled, usually, to do all that much for people who dont deserve it.

I'm gonna hate Idaho. I've got to move up there to do college, and I'm going to hate it. I mean, I hate it here in San Diego too, but it's not gonna get any better up there. I mean, if a few things change, then yeah. It'll be all good. But odds are never really in my favor.

For how tightly I cling to my faith in God, you'd think I would have read the bible at least once by now, eh? It's a great irony. I don't have a set religion, and I'm not annoying with it like some people are with New Age shit. I just...believe what I believe, and it's a matter of total indifference towards what people think of it. Of course, it makes it hard to adapt to a set of principles, but I've got a few of my own that I use. For instance, "no good excuses for bad behavior." I'll admit, I'm not perfect, and I've never claimed such, but for people to be shits and then try to say they didn't know that being a shit would invoke negative reactions is kind of vexing. Although I was really hard on one of my friends recently about that, and I do kinda feel like an ass for it.

I'm starting to see myself on that plane, you know. It's shaking real bad, and I can swear I hear whistling. Cabin's still pressurized. Over the intercom, yesterday, she yelled "What, I can't be innocent?!". My belt buckle isn't working so good, but the oxygen mask is real nice. Very helpful. Maybe she's not losing it, though. I mean, the destination did change, and the airport isn't what I thought it was going to be? But...I don't know whether or not I should get to the door.

Only two people will get that, and it's totally great.

Everyone in my family weighs less than me, now. It's greatly disturbing.

With all the games and DVDs I own, you'd think I'd play/watch one or two of them.

I'm actually doing this on purpose. I feel like I'm selling out.

Also, I'm beginning to think that "Here's To The Man" by Sausage performed by Les Claypool's Flying Frog Brigade is my new favorite song. It's all about Skerik, brothers and sisters. It could also be because I can play it on my bass now. Les Claypool songs are getting less and less difficult, but I don't see myself getting better as a bassist. Me and my stupid want to be a jazz bassist, if anything.

I havent changed the battery (two AAA) in my bass tuner for years and years. Yet, I've never had a CD player's batteries last a week. Truly an odd trend.

I'm gonna end this one with a story about how one of my first friends jumped off his house.

One of my first friends jumped off his house.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1/29/2006 06:16:00 PM  

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